Great Article I came across about the Myths surrounding Cremation
-M
Editor’s note: The following is the first in a series of columns from Kasi Welch Baker, of Nalley-Pickle & Welch Funeral Home & Crematory. The columns, which will run monthly, deal with issues families must deal with after a loved one passes away.
Recently, I had a family come to me after a loved one had died. This is not uncommon, as I am a funeral director. But this time, a cremation already had taken place. “What can I do for you?” I asked. They responded that they were having difficulty coping with the loss. Mom had set up a simple cremation plan and “didn’t want a fuss” made over her. They followed her wishes and had her cremated without a service. Now, her kids and grandkids were having trouble letting go. “I think we need to have a memorial,” said the daughter. “Can you help us?”
I was more than happy to help. Together, we planned a very meaningful and personal service. Family members and friends from all over came to pay their respects. Everyone was so grateful to the family for holding the service and allowing them to be a part of it. “I never realized how many lives my mother had touched,” the daughter said to me after the memorial. “It was a beautiful service.”
All of this got me to thinking about some of the misconceptions there are about cremation. Here are a few of the myths that I have come across:
Myth: You don’t need a service with cremation.
Truth: Cremation does not replace a family’s need for closure. It is simply an alternative to other forms of final disposition. When a death occurs, a service is still important for the family to find closure and healing.
Myth: If you want to be cremated, just tell your loved ones. That’s really the only decision they have to make.
Truth: When a death occurs, there are roughly 100 decisions your closest loved ones have to make. One of those decisions is whether you will be cremated or not. There are many, many other decisions that must be made in addition to cremation. For example, most people don’t realize that you can have a viewing with the body present, then a funeral service followed by cremation. Many times families choose to have a viewing, then a memorial service without the body present, and then a burial of the urn at the cemetery afterward. There are so many options with cremation, it makes it a great option for families who need versatility. Having a viewing with the body present (if it is possible to have one) is a significant time for the bereaved who still are coming to grips with the death. If cremation takes place too soon, some family members and friends may suffer because they feel they never had a chance to say goodbye. All of these issues are important, and so very helpful if they are planned out ahead of time with love and care.
Myth: Cremation is much more inexpensive than burial.
Truth: The cost of a funeral or memorial mostly depends on all the options that are selected, not just whether cremation is chosen or not. I have seen elaborate services that ended in cremation, and I have seen extremely simple burials that were very cost-effective. The cost of a funeral is usually dependent on the type of services and merchandise that are selected.
Myth: With cremation, you don’t need a headstone or grave marker.
Truth: While it is true that it is not necessary to erect a headstone when cremation takes place, one thing people sometimes fail to consider is that an equivalent to a headstone may be needed. After all, what is the purpose of a headstone? For one, it provides a physical location for family members to visit, reflect and remember. Second, it is important for generations to come. With the rise in popularity of genealogies, it is very likely that descendants may wish to visit the grave of a great- grandparent or great-great-grandparent. We suggest that a portion of the cremated body be reserved for burial in a columbarium, cremation garden or family plot. That way, generations from now, a record of the person’s life will be left behind.
As a funeral director, my job is to help families discover the choices that are right for them. I don’t believe there is a right or wrong answer. My goal is simply to help families understand the choices they have available to them and decide what will be best for those left behind. If there is one message I’d like to leave you with, it would be to please talk to your family about these kinds of things. As Americans, we typically don’t like to talk about death and end-of-life issues. However, with one simple conversation, one simple call or one meeting with a preplanning specialist or funeral director, you can make such a difference in the lives of those you care about most.
Read more: Families need to separate truth and myth when it comes to cremation - Mywesttexas.com: Life http://www.mywesttexas.com/life/article_9c76dbb0-8110-11e1-b202-0019bb2963f4.html#ixzz1rl1kAmo8
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