Three Elements Needed for a Healing Funeral

At Heideman Hughes Mortuary we believe all funerals should have three essential elements that help families move through the healing process:

First, to provide a tribute to the life lived, we believe that all funerals should have a ceremony with religious or spiritual overtones.

Second, we believe there should be some form of public gathering so your family can receive the support of the community.

And Third, to mark a point of closure for the families, we believe there should be some form of a procession to the final resting place.

And finally, a healing funeral has to balance what you want for your service with what your family needs during their time of grief.

-Mark Heiner
Funeral Director/Advanced Planning Consultant
Heideman Hughes Mortuary

I’m a Mormon. Is it OK if I choose Cremation?

As an Advanced Planning Consultant and Funeral Director at Heideman Hughes Mortuary I often get asked:  “I’m a Mormon.  Is it OK if I choose Cremation?”

I’ve researched this question and found the following:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormon) Quotes Concerning Cremation

Joseph Fielding Smith in Answers to Gospel Questions 1957 Volume 2, pages 99-102:  "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has never taken a definite stand on this [cremation] question.  Presumably no edict in relation to it will ever be taken.  The matter of burial of the dead, as far as the Church is concerned, is an individual or a family matter.  If any member of the Church should state in his will, or make any general statement, that he wished to be cremated, the Church authorities would not step in and interfere but would consider it something with which they had no official concern."

LDS (Latter-Day Saint) Cremation view (as reported in a Utah County paper The Provo Daily Herald Aug 2, 1999):  "There is a strong LDS culture here", Sundquist (a local funeral home owner) said, noting that the perception is that the church seems to frown on cremation.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints may be more understanding of cremations than people realize.  Dale Bills, a spokesman for the LDS Church said, "For Latter-Day Saints, normally cremation is not encouraged.  However, in some countries the law requires it.  The family of the deceased must decide whether to cremate the body, taking into account any laws governing burial or cremation.  "In other words, it's not encouraged, but it's not viewed as a sin, either.  If an LDS person is cremated or has a member of their family cremated, the church maintains a nonjudgmental stance.  “There is not anything in cremation that would cause a member of the church to be looked upon in disfavor in any way,” Bills said.  And it won't hurt that person's chances in the afterlife, either.  Some people may die in fires.  Some may be lost at sea.  Some may be cremated or buried.  In all cases, LDS theology has the same view about the remains.  "Our faith is that through Christ the blessings of the resurrection will be universal," Bills said.  "Body and spirit will be reunited for all who have lived."

General LDS Church Handbook (as of 2000) Book Number 1, page 156:  Normally cremation is not encouraged.  However in some countries the law requires it.  The family of the deceased must decide whether to cremate the body, taking into account the laws governing such.  Where possible the body of a deceased member who has been endowed should be dressed in temple clothing before the cremation.  A funeral service may be held.

Elder Boyd K. Packer 1988 General Conference talk on Funerals:  “Except where burial is prohibited by law, we are counseled [means: not doctrinal] to bury our dead.  There are important symbolic references to burial in the ordinance of baptism and elsewhere in the doctrines of the Church.”

I Have A Question Ensign Article 1991:  Cremation is a custom in various parts of the world.  Do 
Latter-day Saints practice it?  By Roger R. Keller, associate professor of Church history and doctrine at Brigham Young University:  Ultimately, after consultation with the Lord and with priesthood leaders, the family must decide what to do.  If the person has been endowed, some special instructions are available for the family from local priesthood leaders.  Even if a body is cremated, a funeral service may be held…In the end, however, we should remember that the resurrection will take place by the power of God, who created the heavens and the earth.  Ultimately, whether a person’s body was buried at sea, destroyed in combat or an accident, intentionally cremated, or buried in a grave, the person will be resurrected.  No clearer picture of God’s restorative powers can be found than Ezekiel’s vision of the valley of dry bones (see Ezekiel Chapter 37), in which he sees the bones gathered together and clothed with sinews and flesh by the power of God.  Nothing that is done to the body will in the end prevent the purpose of our Lord from being fulfilled.  Our bodies and our spirits will finally be reunited in the resurrection of the dead.

I welcome your comments, additional information, and/or questions regarding the same.

-Mark Heiner
Advanced Planning Consultant/Funeral Director
Heideman Hughes Mortuary and Crematorium
1037 East 700 South
St. George, Utah 84790
435-674-5000

Make sure your family has more answers than questions when planning a funeral

There are many advantages to planning a funeral ahead of time. By pre-planning, difficult decisions will not have to be made by your survivors during a time of grief and stress. You will be able to visit a potential resting site and have time to decide on and compare your options. Instructions can be left to guide your survivors so they know whether or not cremation is your preferred disposition. Your wishes can be put into writing to give your family direction when the time for the funeral comes. Let me help you pre-plan so your family can carry out your wishes.  Call me for a complimentary, no obligation consultation.

-Mark Heiner
Advanced Planning Counselor
Heideman Hughes Mortuary
Office:  435-674-5000
Mobile:  435-680-5073

Habitat for Humanity of Southwest Utah's Hard Hat & Black Tie Affair

ST. GEORGE, UT (April 26, 2012) –Mark your calendars for the Hard Hat & Black Tie Affair on Saturday, May 12^th from 6:00 pm to 9:00 pm presented by Habitat for Humanity of Southwest Utah.  Join the Friends of Habitat for Humanity at the Best Western Plus Abbey Inn Tuscany Room for an evening of entertainment, fine dining, and both silent and live auctions.  Auction items include autographed images from Utah Jazz players Paul Millsap and Al Jefferson, tickets to several Las Vegas area shows such as Blue Man Group® and Phantom! A Las Vegas Spectacular®, a Thomas Kinkade print, ‘Guitar’ and ‘Violin’ metal artwork from Deveren Farley and much, much more!

The Hard Hat & Black Tie Affair will begin with music provided by harpist Kathleen Whiteside and the evening’s entertainment will be provided by Brodie Perry and Samantha Myers from The Stage Door.  Formal attire is suggested and hard hats are recommended.  Tickets are $75 per person and are available at the Habitat for Humanity of Southwest Utah Office, Habitat for Humanity of Southwest ReStore, or by visiting www.habitatswu.eventbrite.com.  For more information or to reserve a table, please call (435) 674-7669.

About Habitat for Humanity of Southwest Utah

Habitat for Humanity of Southwest Utah is a nonprofit ecumenical housing organization that seeks to work in partnership with God and people to build homes, communities and hope. For more information, to donate or to volunteer, please call the office at (435) 674-7669 or visit www.facebook.com/SWURestore.  Each house built, each family served, each life forever changed starts with one person that decided to make a difference.

Myths Surrounding Cremation

Great Article I came across about the Myths surrounding Cremation

-M

Editor’s note: The following is the first in a series of columns from Kasi Welch Baker, of Nalley-Pickle & Welch Funeral Home & Crematory. The columns, which will run monthly, deal with issues families must deal with after a loved one passes away.

Recently, I had a family come to me after a loved one had died. This is not uncommon, as I am a funeral director. But this time, a cremation already had taken place. “What can I do for you?” I asked. They responded that they were having difficulty coping with the loss. Mom had set up a simple cremation plan and “didn’t want a fuss” made over her. They followed her wishes and had her cremated without a service. Now, her kids and grandkids were having trouble letting go. “I think we need to have a memorial,” said the daughter. “Can you help us?”
I was more than happy to help. Together, we planned a very meaningful and personal service. Family members and friends from all over came to pay their respects. Everyone was so grateful to the family for holding the service and allowing them to be a part of it. “I never realized how many lives my mother had touched,” the daughter said to me after the memorial. “It was a beautiful service.”
All of this got me to thinking about some of the misconceptions there are about cremation. Here are a few of the myths that I have come across:

Myth: You don’t need a service with cremation.

Truth: Cremation does not replace a family’s need for closure. It is simply an alternative to other forms of final disposition. When a death occurs, a service is still important for the family to find closure and healing.

Myth: If you want to be cremated, just tell your loved ones. That’s really the only decision they have to make.

Truth: When a death occurs, there are roughly 100 decisions your closest loved ones have to make. One of those decisions is whether you will be cremated or not. There are many, many other decisions that must be made in addition to cremation. For example, most people don’t realize that you can have a viewing with the body present, then a funeral service followed by cremation. Many times families choose to have a viewing, then a memorial service without the body present, and then a burial of the urn at the cemetery afterward. There are so many options with cremation, it makes it a great option for families who need versatility. Having a viewing with the body present (if it is possible to have one) is a significant time for the bereaved who still are coming to grips with the death. If cremation takes place too soon, some family members and friends may suffer because they feel they never had a chance to say goodbye. All of these issues are important, and so very helpful if they are planned out ahead of time with love and care.

Myth: Cremation is much more inexpensive than burial.

Truth: The cost of a funeral or memorial mostly depends on all the options that are selected, not just whether cremation is chosen or not. I have seen elaborate services that ended in cremation, and I have seen extremely simple burials that were very cost-effective. The cost of a funeral is usually dependent on the type of services and merchandise that are selected.

Myth: With cremation, you don’t need a headstone or grave marker.

Truth: While it is true that it is not necessary to erect a headstone when cremation takes place, one thing people sometimes fail to consider is that an equivalent to a headstone may be needed. After all, what is the purpose of a headstone? For one, it provides a physical location for family members to visit, reflect and remember. Second, it is important for generations to come. With the rise in popularity of genealogies, it is very likely that descendants may wish to visit the grave of a great- grandparent or great-great-grandparent. We suggest that a portion of the cremated body be reserved for burial in a columbarium, cremation garden or family plot. That way, generations from now, a record of the person’s life will be left behind.

As a funeral director, my job is to help families discover the choices that are right for them. I don’t believe there is a right or wrong answer. My goal is simply to help families understand the choices they have available to them and decide what will be best for those left behind. If there is one message I’d like to leave you with, it would be to please talk to your family about these kinds of things. As Americans, we typically don’t like to talk about death and end-of-life issues. However, with one simple conversation, one simple call or one meeting with a preplanning specialist or funeral director, you can make such a difference in the lives of those you care about most.


Read more: Families need to separate truth and myth when it comes to cremation - Mywesttexas.com: Life http://www.mywesttexas.com/life/article_9c76dbb0-8110-11e1-b202-0019bb2963f4.html#ixzz1rl1kAmo8
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution

Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best

Nobody wants to think about the day they leave this life. There’s too much left to enjoy, too many people to share feelings with, and to laugh with. Still, we all have to leave sometime. And the best gift you can give the people you love are the good memories of you; not the stress of making funeral arrangements, and having to find a way to pay for them.  In just one afternoon you could have the peace of mind knowing everything is taken care of - each detail exactly the way you want it, so your funeral will be a tribute to the people you love as well as to the life you lived.

It’s simple, and begins with our Personal Wishes Organizer. We understand it can be difficult to get started. So we’ve made it easy with this step-by-step guide that helps you through the process.

Besides relieving stress, anxiety, and confusion, planning ahead lets you create the perfect memorial for your family.

For your complimentary Personal Wishes Organizer, please contact me for a private, no obligation consultation.

-Mark Heiner

Pre-Planning Consultant

Heideman Hughes Mortuary

435-674-5000

Funerals - More Answers than Questions

Life’s Moments... Memories of home, family, friends. Those special moments we recapture when time seems to stand still and we find ourselves considering just how blessed we are.

Mark Heiner and the staff at Heideman Hughes Mortuary are committed to helping bereaved family members and loved ones recreate those memories in their time of need. Compassionate understanding is the hallmark of our unique community service programs. We know first-hand just how difficult making funeral arrangements at a time of need can be, both emotionally and financially.

We can help you put together a plan in advance that will leave your loved ones with guidance and support at a time when they need it most. This will ensure that things are in order so that there will be more answers than questions. An important part of a pre-arranged funeral plan is discussing and recording some of your “life’s moments.” This will also assist you in helping your family create and be part of a personal and meaningful service, where the stories of a unique life will be shared.

To learn more about why, when and how to plan ahead, frequently asked questions, funding options, and more.  Please call us to schedule a confidential complimentary consultation in your home or at our location, 435-674-5000.

Mark the Mortician - Advanced Funeral Planning Reduces Stress

It’s not an easy subject, but seniors and adults in general may want to start talking about their funeral plans today.  After reading the news/obituaries for Davy Jones, Andrew Breitbart, (only three years my senior) and others, many people like me will have a reality check and may wish to inquire about and possibly plan their own funerals so their families won’t have to.  Seniors preplan and prepay for their funerals for a variety of reasons, such as estate planning or Medicaid purposes, but I have to say the reason I hear most often is to relieve their survivors from the many details and decisions associated with arranging a funeral.  Death can be a very stressful time. Not only is there grieving, but often traveling, legal issues and the many decisions that must be made in a short period of time.  If you choose to prepay for your funeral selections, then the financial considerations have been addressed as well.  Planning ahead can ease emotional and financial stress, and also provides you with the time needed to make practical and detailed decisions that reflect your preferences.  It puts you in control and ensures your wishes will be known, and it spares your loved ones the anxiety of making critical decisions at a time when they are least prepared. But, most importantly, is the peace of mind in knowing that when the time does come, you have eliminated the emotional and financial burden that occurs when arrangements have not been made in advance.

If you've got questions about advanced funeral planning, give me a call, I'd be happy to help.

-Mark

435-674-5000

What would you do if your spouse charged $7,755.00 on your credit card?

What would you do if your spouse charged $7,755.00 on your credit card?

Anything? Nothing?

Unfortunately, many of us will be the ones responsible for the charges, posthumously.

$7,755.00 was the average cost of a traditional funeral in 2011 according to the National Funeral Directors Association.

Many of you know my passion for advanced funeral planning because I see too many families bury their loved one via Visa, MasterCard or American Express, further complicating and adding financial stress to the existing emotional stress and grief accompanying the loss of a family member.

Advanced funeral planning isn't a topic many of us want to think about, however most people can agree that planning for what happens after your death will reduce the stress of grieving loved ones. It’s easy to understand how making decisions now about your funeral arrangements can help assure those left behind that your wishes are being honored.

You may not realize, though, that preplanning your final arrangements also makes good financial sense. There a few key ways in which funeral preplanning can impact your financial bottom line.

Avoid Grief Overspending

Planning your final arrangements in advance ensures your funeral will be conducted according to your wishes, which will ease the burden on your loved ones to make choices they think you’d want. But advance planning also helps your loved ones avoid spending on things not important to you by communicating exactly which merchandise and services you want for your funeral.

Find the Quality and Value You Want

If you're like me, you probably shop around to find the car, new electronic gadget or vacation that delivers the quality and features that are right for you, so why don’t more people do the same when it comes to funeral providers?

Contacting different funeral homes is an important part of planning a funeral. Compare options and services to find the right fit for your final wishes. Our community, St. George, Utah, is home to the following funeral providers:

Heideman Hughes Mortuary - 435-674-5000

Metcalf Mortuary - 435-673-4221

Spilsbury Mortuary - 435-673-2454

McMillan Mortuary - 435-688-8880

Pine View Mortuary (Metcalf) - 435-986-4222

SereniCare Funeral Home - 435-986-2085

Comparison shopping now allows you to feel secure you’re receiving the quality and value you deserve.

Lock in Today’s Prices

If you choose to fund your advanced funeral plan, you can lock in today’s prices for products and services that will be more expensive in the future. It is important to work with a funeral professional to understand the laws that regulate and protect advanced funeral funds. You need to feel comfortable that your funds are secure in an insurance policy or in trust with a reliable provider.

Take Advantage of Additional Benefits

You may be eligible for additional funeral benefits if you are a military veteran or civil servant. By planning your funeral, you can learn about these benefits in advance of your death so your loved ones will have all the information they need at the time of your passing. Our entire staff can provide information regarding additional benefits for which you may be eligible.

The reasons to make your final arrangements in advance are valid for everyone, no matter your age or financial status. While saving your loved ones from difficult decisions at an already difficult time, advance funeral planning also makes good financial sense. In today’s economic climate, it’s good to know that your final expense is one you can control.

If you would like to lean more about advanced funeral planning please contact me at 435-674-5000 for a no cost/obligation consultation at your home or my office.

-Mark Heiner

Heideman Hughes Mortuary

St. George, Utah

(information found via the library of dignitymemorial.com)